Sometimes, waking up in a somber mood beckons me to write about what I’ve done to improve my life. Once I sit down outside, the sentiment dissipates as my attention follows the birds in the garden. A non-negotiable habit I’ve cultivated is to not “make” things happen. Allowing prompts, such as today’s, to come to me, is such an instance. There’s a book titled “The Art of Allowing.” I haven’t read it, but I’m pretty sure I’m discovering the gist of it through my everyday being-ness.
Duality is such a perfect state. One thing could not exist or be without the other. If you didn’t know what dark was, you couldn’t discern the light. Emotions too. Happy, not happy, etc. Male, female. I always think of plugs when contemplating masculine and feminine duality. The one receives the other. Receptiveness is a state of allowing. Before I understood this, I didn’t allow myself to receive. Being indebted to another was the last thing I wanted and since I assumed that all exchanges were conditional, I didn’t allow myself to receive.
Blameless
I wanted people who “did me wrong” to suffer. “One day you’re going to know how this feels” is a well known utterance in my family. All the so called wrongdoers, had done nothing but trigger the feelings of heaviness I had dwelling in me. The discontent I felt, was my own. Awareness, usually through meditation but not strictly by, teaches one to detach from the physical. Because you cannot look at yourself with your own eyes, the world and it’s people become the mirror through which you see what you truly look like. What I truly look like. My pain was reflected back to me through each connection I had and since I had no awareness of what was at play, I exacerbated it by cursing my trigger with “some day you will know how it feels!”
“It’s me, Jessica”
“You can’t run away from yourself”, I once spat at an acquaintance. Thinking it was him the message was intended for, I paid it no mind. Now I understand it was from me, to me. As all messages are, because the world is a mirror. And so the nature of duality is such that with each question an answer appears. Being receptive to that answer, in whatever form it manifests is key to understanding. And understanding, of myself and my nature, is what I’m most proud of. This has opened up my world such that my relationships have evolved and blossomed. Being kinder to myself, and others in turn, but mostly, trusting that everything is working out exactly as it should, perfectly!
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